Saying no to something

Taking on a new leadership role in my department and working to balance both the work and the politics.  The work is largely me not letting the small urgent get in the way of the big important items.  I did some work over the summer evaluating what is important to my career (long term) and what gives me pleasure/satisfaction on the job.  These items were somewhat different so I rank them both in my evaluation.  Then I sorted my list of items and highlighted those that not rank highly on either list.  These are my items I need to work on saying no to (at least sometimes).  It has been helpful for me (and my need to please) to remember that these are not the things I want/need to be doing for success or happiness.  Also along with this I looked at how much time was being spent on tasks and I was astonished to realize how many papers, grants, etc. I was reviewing.  Obviously I can't avoid all of this, but when I am a regular NIH study section member, I don't need to review for every other agency/country that asks.  Also, I need to focus on only accepting reviews that are beneficial for me from a time/reward/knowledge tradeoff.  I realized I was reviewing on average at least 36 papers/year.  So now I try to accept no more than 2 per month.  I also learned that when you say no quickly, people are less mad.  Probably because they at least have more time to find someone, where as when you say no 1-2 weeks later, they are in a bad place for their timelines.  They might not be happy but at least they have more time.  Also suggesting alternates is greatly appreciated (sorry to all those colleagues who are on my suggestion list).

Also I'm resisting getting too involved in the kiddos new school.  There are lots of moms there who don't work outside the home and I don't really feel bad about them doing the lions share of room parties, field trips, etc.  I learned you can spot them very quickly on the playground at drop-off time.  They are the ones in their workout clothes who are headed to the gym after drop off.  (Sorry I'm a little envious of the time to work out.)  But, I've found the working mom's who power walk back to their homes to jump in the car and make it to work at an almost reasonable hour.

I'd love to hear about others tips/things that they are saying no to!

Countdown to spring break

Sometimes I think the students don't realize that we look forward to Spring Break almost as much as they do, or perhaps more.  I'm looking for a few calm days to finish writing my grant due the next week (or possibly write the whole thing the way life is going lately).  Also on the list is to dig out all the spring/summer clothes for the kids and figure out what we need before the summer water play/pool/camp season is upon us.  (It sneaks up right after commencement.)

The last two weeks have been crazy busy with trying to finish my overdue book chapter, prepping for student presentations in my class (selecting papers for them to present), organizing a monster graduate recruiting weekend, and a quick trip to a board of directors meeting.  What is it about faculty that makes them long winded and bad at time management when speaking?  It was the nicest hotel I've stayed in for ages (perhaps ever).  Unfortunately I arrived about 7 hours before my meeting started so really it was mostly wasted on sleeping.  Oh and a week of all my crazy committees (read only tenured woman in engineering not on leave) meeting in the same week UGH!

So here I am with a million things on my to do list and only one week of classes left before spring break.  The thought that I might get them done by the end is so enticing (even though we all know I won't make it through them all).  Not as enticing as my friend who booked a spring break trip to Puerto Rico for her family a few weeks ago.  I'm soooo jealous.  Sun, beaches, drinks with umbrellas....  Ah well just catching up is almost as good right???

Was  I working on saying no???  I feel like a big failure in this department right now.

Mentors and advocates

Recently I had lunch with the women faculty in engineering at my university.  Sadly it was a small number of women and currently we have a small number who are on campus (not on sabbatical, etc.).  We were discussing the way that women can easily take on too many service roles.  Key points that emerged were that it is really beneficial to have a senior advocate (male or female) to discuss appropriate service roles with and who can advise you on what committees are not too much work or worth the time investment.  Always respond to a request for service by asking for some time to think about it.  Then discuss the role with your advocate or mentor and determine if it is right for you.  Think about what would make you say yes (relief from another committee or duty, teaching relief, administrative support etc.) and request that as a condition for service.  Other good lines were, is this appropriate for an assistant professor (someone trying to get tenure) or how will this improve my tenure case?  Sometime women have a hard time saying no in the face of pressure from a chair or other powerful figure.  Asking for time to thing can by you time to make a rational decision (not based solely guilt) and help you find a nice way to say no.  I hope it was helpful for the others there.  That said, I did say yes to two major service commitments last week, so maybe I need to consider this advice myself!

Any good tips out there for saying no or balancing service requests?