Looking ahead

So as I am regrouping from some of my service work for the year and glimpsing the end of the semester, my thoughts turn toward the future and a question I think about now and then.  So now what?
I received tenure a few years ago and was so thrilled to make it over the bar.  I was almost more thrilled when my spouse also joined me on the other side.  Now that the afterglow has worn off, what's next?  The big next mark for me (other than renewing my R01) was clearly promotion to full at some point.  It's not as all consuming as getting tenure, after all they can't fire me (without good cause) even if I don't make it to full ever.  But, on the other hand there are many  people who stall out at Associate and are become the permanent Associate.  Not the end of the world, but not what I want either.   So I'm thinking about what I need to do for promotion to full.

I have talked to a couple of senior faculty type that are involved in this type of promotion including my chair.  The comments include making sure to increase my international exposure.  Not sure how to do this except through international travel, but of course this is challenging with small kiddos at home.  I do have an international conference that I am giving an invited lecture at this summer, so hopefully this will help.  I'm on the board of directors or similar governing boards for 2 societies in my area of research/field (figure this should be good for visibility).  I am also joining an NIH Study section in the coming year.  I figure the timing should actually be somewhat beneficial in that I will get to see lots of grant in the new format.  My chair is really focused on publication metrics, but he did share his formula for evaluation here, so that is helpful.  Of the recent cases that were promoted to full from my department (each has a somewhat strange career path) I have already passed on or the other in many of the metrics, so I'm just about in the pack by most measures here.   The other big component was what has advanced in my research since tenure.  Actually a lot since I have had several students graduate with their PhDs since tenure, so here I'm feeling like I have a good story.

I feel that there is a lack of mentoring at my institution (and many others) after tenure.  While pre-tenure mentoring is more important, we are not completely mature the day after tenure.  So, it's been a little harder tracking down the metrics for promotion to full.  I also only was present for 1 of the 3 tenure cases that went up since I got tenure due to travel or conflicts, so even the whole department discussion is still unclear to me.

After getting to full, where to I want to go.  Leadership (chair??, research center director?), administration (probably not, given what I have seen at my institution) .  Focus more on research or mentoring??  Interesting thoughts, but now back to the details of the end of the semester.

Any newly (or not so newly tenured) folks out there with sage advice??

Are we part of the problem?

The AAUW release a report recently called "Why So Few?".  It seeks to identify reasons for the gender gap in STEM fields and offers some potential fixes.  I was excited by the possibilities, but somewhat disappointed by the short chapter with limited recommendations.  I should preface this conversation by saying that I'm serving on a committee right now looking at ways to improve enrollment and retention of undergraduate women in STEM fields, so this was of interest to me.

This week, there is an editorial piece on the report on the Chronicle website "Are Women Partly to Blame for the Gender Gap in STEM Fields?".  It is a thought provoking article that I agree with in some respects, such as how the AAUW report doesn't really offer any new suggestions.  It also got me thinking about whether I was part of the problem, and discouraged women from entering careers in academic STEM fields.  After all, it is hard to make it through the tenure process, and it is hard to balance working with having small kids.  I think tenure is hard for everyone, not just women (although it does fall during our prime reproductive years).  I also think that being a working mom is really hard, no matter what your job is and in fact we have luxury of having a more flexible schedule than many professions (lawyers, physicians, etc.).   I can't do everything at home, but I can do a lot, and much of my work can be done between 8 pm and 2 am, just as well as 8 am to 2 pm (except for the effect on my sanity).  But are women keeping each other down at times rather than being advocates for others?  

This is a delicate balance for me.  I would love to have another female faculty member in my department.  DESPERATELY!!!  But, I don't want someone who is not qualified or would not contribute to the department.  I'm not willing to give someone a complete pass on quality just to get a warm body in here that would likely not succeed.  But, do I go too far sometimes to make sure that when we do get another woman, she will meet the bar?  Am I subconsciously too hard on women candidates I'm not sure about?  I'm a big supporter of the good ones, but they never seem to accept the offers.  Food for thought....

What about students?  Do I let them see the sometimes grim reality of the challenge of being a faculty member a little too openly?  Does it discourage them?  I think this was definitely the case for my first doctoral student.  She is at home with two young kids right now.  I think this is totally the right decision for her and I support her on this.  But did my struggles in the early years turn her off to a faculty career?  I hope not, but I fear it may be true.  

I certainly did get turned off in graduate school by the harshness of a few female faculty members.  They had surely been through a lot to get to where they were, but rather than convert that experience into trying to ease the path for others it was more of a "I went through it so you must too" type of hazing.  This is what I want desperately to avoid.

I think the truth is that we just need to be more open and more flexible about what constitutes success, a career path and. acchievement.  Definitions of fields, milestone, research are all opening up more with interdisciplinary research anyway.  People don't all follow the same path from undergraduate to graduate school to post doc to faculty position.  Theey may detour for work, family, or just adventure.  This all makes them richer people.  I love that more and more women in my field are having kids pre-tenure.  It's become the norm rather than the exception for women faculty that started in the last 10 years.  Amazing, because 12 years ago I could count on 1 hand the number of women faculty I knew who had kids pre-tenure.  And, I don't think there is a big drop in the % of women getting tenure, so while I'm not goign to lie and say it's easy, it can and is being done.  

Here's the other myth, the being a stay at home mom (SAHM) is easy.  Frankly, it's really hard.  I have lots of friends that are SAHMs and that is just as hard a job for no pay.  I get to hang out with grown-ups (or almost grown-ups) all day and only have a few hours that can possibily have tantrums (from my kids at least).  So it's hard being a mom, whether you work outside the home or not.  Kids are hard just when you think you have them figured out they change on you.     The whole working vs SAHM battle is another battle I just don't get, in that it is so counter productive to helping women.  

Anyway, I'm going to try to think about ways to make sure I'm helping encourage women, rather than discouraging them.  Let me know if you have suggestions from your experiences.  

Post Spring Break Hangover

OK.  I really wish that I did have a hangover from Spring Break because it would have meant doing something fun.  Instead I had a toddler with hand foot and mouth disease that resulting in 2 missed days from daycare and 2 more days of very picky eating (due to mouth sores).  Despite all this he has gained a pound recently so I guess he didn't starve too badly.  All this was really not conducive to finishing my spring break to-do list or taking a personal sanity (read clean out the clutter at home) day.   And now it's back to classes with nary a holiday until after finals.

On the bright side, despite the craziness that was my break, I did finish my grant and successfully defeat the e-submission system to get my grant submitted (read department admin hitting submit 50+ times and me clicking it once in the evening).  I could do a whole post about how unhappy I am that NIH chose not to grandfather grant being resubmitted.  It's really hard to response to reviews while cutting your grant length by 50%.  6 pages is too short for a grant proposal.  I hope the reviews can be considerate about the lack of space for methods.  I think the new format is actually helpful for providing info so that reviews can find it (e.g. significance and innovation), so I like this part (once I got my tooting your own horn hat on).  However, I'm still struggling to figure where to put the background info, or in other words I realize I'm not the only person in this field and that I am building on the work of others.

Also completed, book chapter (submitted), grading for my class up to date (as of last night), and planning on the way for the next recruiting weekend (Friday).  I did manage an few hours of me time after a eye exam/dilation put an end to grant writing one afternoon.  So really with the sick days, not too bad on my checklist.  Also did get the kids spring clothes washed and pool shoes ordered.  Now it's on to prepping for the guest lectures in another class this week and the 3 manuscripts that need to get submitted, as well as the paper reviews that are due soon.

One other interesting article from the NYTimes regarding the state of women at Harvard in the last 5 years. It's hard to fight the attitude/concern that women are being hired as tokens when the numbers are so small.  I think the key is that making life more balanced benefits everyone not just women.  Men these day have spouse who work frequently too.

Countdown to spring break

Sometimes I think the students don't realize that we look forward to Spring Break almost as much as they do, or perhaps more.  I'm looking for a few calm days to finish writing my grant due the next week (or possibly write the whole thing the way life is going lately).  Also on the list is to dig out all the spring/summer clothes for the kids and figure out what we need before the summer water play/pool/camp season is upon us.  (It sneaks up right after commencement.)

The last two weeks have been crazy busy with trying to finish my overdue book chapter, prepping for student presentations in my class (selecting papers for them to present), organizing a monster graduate recruiting weekend, and a quick trip to a board of directors meeting.  What is it about faculty that makes them long winded and bad at time management when speaking?  It was the nicest hotel I've stayed in for ages (perhaps ever).  Unfortunately I arrived about 7 hours before my meeting started so really it was mostly wasted on sleeping.  Oh and a week of all my crazy committees (read only tenured woman in engineering not on leave) meeting in the same week UGH!

So here I am with a million things on my to do list and only one week of classes left before spring break.  The thought that I might get them done by the end is so enticing (even though we all know I won't make it through them all).  Not as enticing as my friend who booked a spring break trip to Puerto Rico for her family a few weeks ago.  I'm soooo jealous.  Sun, beaches, drinks with umbrellas....  Ah well just catching up is almost as good right???

Was  I working on saying no???  I feel like a big failure in this department right now.

Reset

The last two-three months have been really crazy due in part to an important leadership role in a university service.  All in all it was a really valuable learning experience in regard to how things really work at universities (or at least my university).  I'll share a few take home messages from this in a generalized form: (1)  if you are asked to chair a committee only agree to do so if you have major input into the make up of the committee (probably the most important part of reaching a favorable solution/recommendation), (2) the real action should happen outside the meeting (you should be talking with the key players on the committee making sure they up to speed before the meeting), don't blindside people with big proposals in a meeting and expect them to be on board, (3) get a mentor/confidant, especially if you are new to a leadership role (find someone outside the direct impact of the outcome so they can give you advice not colored by their personal stake, and it has to be someone you can totally trust and share details with so you can bounce ideas off them or get suggestions when things get tough), and (4) work your connections/relationships/networks to get a favorable outcome (this is how things work in reality, not some idealized neutral system so use the system to your benefit to get information or share it when needed with key players).

Overall I'm happy with the outcome of my assignment and it has fit within the best case scenario window identified at the start.  It's a little anti-climactic, but I think that is just exhaustion.  It took a lot more time, and mental energy than I envisioned when I agreed to do the job, but because of my personal stake in the outcome it was worth it.  I also learned a lot about working with people and finding the things that will make them cringe or get on board.  However, it has made me realize that being a good leader is a lot of work, and that's something I'll file in my head for consideration down the road.

Now it's back to the daily grind of teaching, grants, papers, my regular service obiligations, graduate admissions and recruiting, etc.  I'm trying to focus on aligning my time allocation with my priorities research, papers and grants because I find that graduate recruiting and teaching are overwhelming me right now.  I'm trying to follow some tips on this from an article I read in Inside Heigher Ed (thanks Aurora for the tip).  Started tracking my time yesterday and I'm realizing that the ever urgent nature of teaching and appointments seem to suck much of my time.  Tomorrow I'm going to take a writing day to try to focus on getting this in balance (and getting a good draft of my way overdue book chapter).  Also need to regroup and focus on the expectations for promotion to full professor.  (I fear this means ramping up the travel again.)

I'd love to hear your tips for aligning your tim alocation with your long term career goals.

Better marriages for working women

Interesting article today in the NYT on working women and female breadwinners....

It turns out that women who work and contribute to the family income (or are the sole breadwinners) are less likely to get divorced than women who do not work.   The assumption that these women have more flexibility in choosing their mates and are more likely to select someone supportive of their education, aspirations, etc.  Plausible....

It also pointed out that women have a hard time ceding control household/parenting tasks that their partners are doing.  Totally true for me.  I used to pick out outfits for kiddo #1 and prepack them in bags when I went out of town.  Partly to make sure he matched and partly to make sure required items like onesies were not forgotten or that nice dress clothes were not worn to daycare.  I've definitely loosened up here, partly due to the realization that those teachers know how things go when mom is out of town, and partly because kiddo #1 now picks out the clothes to be worn, so combinations I often would not pick go out the door on a regular basis.  I try to follow the rule that you can ask someone to do it but not tell them how to do it, although when bleach is used on colors or something similar I do feel like I have the right to interject.  I'll admit it, I'm a bit of a control freak at times.

 The other moderating factor for me is daycare.  I realize that they operate differently then at home.  Babies/kids fall asleep differently, eat differently and generally behave differently.  But that is OK as long as everyone's needs are met and things are done in a loving/appropriate way.  When you have 9 infants and 3 adults things are going to be different than 1 on 1. On the other hand, toddler learn to nap on cots and eat independently sooner.  They learn to climb stairs and start dressing skills earlier than I would teach them.  There is some positive peer pressure that encourages development.  With kiddo #2 I take this all in stride realizing the positive effects.  Anyway, I digress, but when someone else takes care of your kids, either dad or daycare or a nanny, it is different than what you would do, but that is usually OK.

So I guess one thing we can say is that women scientists/engineers are less likely to divorce than some women, at least based on this article.  And if they do divorce, at least they have a means to support themselves, right?

Just when you get your head above water

It's my fault... Yesterday I was blissfully thinking that things were moving in to a slightly less crazy phase of time.  My major service venture is 99% complete (and the remaining 1% is not on me).  I was moving at a leisurely pace on finishing my book chapter that was due 1 week ago.  I mean printing out the "final" references to read for my book chapter and re-tagging my notes.  I even took an evening to indulge in my favorite TV shows.  Then it hit, just as I was getting cocky, winter time illness (in kiddo #2).  He woke up happy, but those droopy eyes and flushed cheeks said "fever", and sure enough my instinct was right.  Morning meeting moved to a teleconference, trip to the ped (the dreaded "virus" diagnosis), etc.  By the way teleconferencing with two barking dogs and a toddler screaming "Mommy", whenever you put him down makes it hard to keep your train of thought (even with the mute button on), especially while your toddler is trying to edit important spreadsheets that you forgot to close and your collaborators didn't email you the meeting handouts (even though you specifically asked them to).  Ah, well, at least tomorrow is Saturday and hopefully the fever will be gone Monday, along with my jump on next week.  I did make it in during nap to interview a graduate school candidate (for another department) and only now am finding the remains of snack/lunch on my sweater.  (Mental note, change clothes first next time...)
Happy Friday and  hoping this is not the downward spiral of winter illness that kiddo #1 had around this age.