Saying no to something

Taking on a new leadership role in my department and working to balance both the work and the politics.  The work is largely me not letting the small urgent get in the way of the big important items.  I did some work over the summer evaluating what is important to my career (long term) and what gives me pleasure/satisfaction on the job.  These items were somewhat different so I rank them both in my evaluation.  Then I sorted my list of items and highlighted those that not rank highly on either list.  These are my items I need to work on saying no to (at least sometimes).  It has been helpful for me (and my need to please) to remember that these are not the things I want/need to be doing for success or happiness.  Also along with this I looked at how much time was being spent on tasks and I was astonished to realize how many papers, grants, etc. I was reviewing.  Obviously I can't avoid all of this, but when I am a regular NIH study section member, I don't need to review for every other agency/country that asks.  Also, I need to focus on only accepting reviews that are beneficial for me from a time/reward/knowledge tradeoff.  I realized I was reviewing on average at least 36 papers/year.  So now I try to accept no more than 2 per month.  I also learned that when you say no quickly, people are less mad.  Probably because they at least have more time to find someone, where as when you say no 1-2 weeks later, they are in a bad place for their timelines.  They might not be happy but at least they have more time.  Also suggesting alternates is greatly appreciated (sorry to all those colleagues who are on my suggestion list).

Also I'm resisting getting too involved in the kiddos new school.  There are lots of moms there who don't work outside the home and I don't really feel bad about them doing the lions share of room parties, field trips, etc.  I learned you can spot them very quickly on the playground at drop-off time.  They are the ones in their workout clothes who are headed to the gym after drop off.  (Sorry I'm a little envious of the time to work out.)  But, I've found the working mom's who power walk back to their homes to jump in the car and make it to work at an almost reasonable hour.

I'd love to hear about others tips/things that they are saying no to!

Why are women the ones seeking balance?

I recently went to an NIH study section and there were several women on the panel.  It was great to see that many women, even though it meant lines in the ladies room during breaks.  We noted several things: (1) it was the women that were in a hurry to get home and were pushing to finish in time to make an earlier flight/train home, (2) I saw 4 study section members in the fitness center between 6-6:30 AM, and all were female.  I’m sure some of the men must work out right?  Now either they work out later (since they can get ready more quickly in the AM) or they don’t work out on the road because they have plenty of time at home to work out.  I find it funny, but I think these to observations exemplify how women work hard to balance their lives (generally harder than men).  I find it easier to work out on the road because I only have to get myself ready and out the door in the AM, and can wake up at the same time given no commute and no kids to get up.  Just some interesting observations….  

Also, the women had some very insightful comments and worked hard to keep things consistent across the whole set of grants.

Your thoughts?

Post Spring Break Hangover

OK.  I really wish that I did have a hangover from Spring Break because it would have meant doing something fun.  Instead I had a toddler with hand foot and mouth disease that resulting in 2 missed days from daycare and 2 more days of very picky eating (due to mouth sores).  Despite all this he has gained a pound recently so I guess he didn't starve too badly.  All this was really not conducive to finishing my spring break to-do list or taking a personal sanity (read clean out the clutter at home) day.   And now it's back to classes with nary a holiday until after finals.

On the bright side, despite the craziness that was my break, I did finish my grant and successfully defeat the e-submission system to get my grant submitted (read department admin hitting submit 50+ times and me clicking it once in the evening).  I could do a whole post about how unhappy I am that NIH chose not to grandfather grant being resubmitted.  It's really hard to response to reviews while cutting your grant length by 50%.  6 pages is too short for a grant proposal.  I hope the reviews can be considerate about the lack of space for methods.  I think the new format is actually helpful for providing info so that reviews can find it (e.g. significance and innovation), so I like this part (once I got my tooting your own horn hat on).  However, I'm still struggling to figure where to put the background info, or in other words I realize I'm not the only person in this field and that I am building on the work of others.

Also completed, book chapter (submitted), grading for my class up to date (as of last night), and planning on the way for the next recruiting weekend (Friday).  I did manage an few hours of me time after a eye exam/dilation put an end to grant writing one afternoon.  So really with the sick days, not too bad on my checklist.  Also did get the kids spring clothes washed and pool shoes ordered.  Now it's on to prepping for the guest lectures in another class this week and the 3 manuscripts that need to get submitted, as well as the paper reviews that are due soon.

One other interesting article from the NYTimes regarding the state of women at Harvard in the last 5 years. It's hard to fight the attitude/concern that women are being hired as tokens when the numbers are so small.  I think the key is that making life more balanced benefits everyone not just women.  Men these day have spouse who work frequently too.

Female Scientists Do More Housework

Another very interesting article about the work/life balance challenge from the Chronicle.  Basically women spend more time doing house work than men, even when they spend the same number of hours per week working.  Interesting...  We always thought this was the case, so nice to have some numbers behind it.

At my house, we have fairly equitable division of labor.  There are a few things we quibble about from time to time but generally pretty equal in most regards.  However, I will say that the mental division of labor is another story.  Who worries about schools, activities, gifts for birthday parties, etc.  That would be me.  My spouse is great about doing things, taking the kids to the doctor (when sick), making dinner (notice I didn't say cooking), meeting a repair/delivery person, etc.  However, he doesn't schedule doctor's appointments, research the best pediatric dentists in the area, find out where to go for swimming lessons, birthday parties, etc.  So this is where I feel the inequity lies.  Time I could be spending thinking great scientific thoughts instead goes into, when will I remember to get all the forms together to register for school or where should we hold kiddo's birthday party.  I always thought I would avoid mommy brain, but the truth is that I do think about kid stuff at work and talk to people at work about it rather than science, not all the time be sometimes.

It's easy to hire people to do stuff for you, relatively speaking.  We have a house cleaner who comes every other week.  We've had one since we started faculty positions.  I hate scrubbing toilets and with 2 incomes, we can afford it.  It's a lot harder to hire someone to worry about all the little things and chit chat with other moms to get the details.

I'm grateful to have a job that is flexible so I can leave early to take the kids to the doctor or stay home when they are sick.  Our solutions is that one of us teaches Monday/Wednesday and the other Tuesday/Thursday. This was when things come up, it is usually the one who isn't teaching that has to cover that day (e.g. sick kids).  It's not perfect, but it works pretty well.  As one colleague told me, "just don't teach at the same or adjacent times" or you will be passing sick kids to each other in the hall between classes.  This was sage advice.  I'm not really sure what lawyers or physicians do with sick kids, since they often can't cancel court or patients.

Leaky pipeline

Here is another article in the Chronicle today about the pipeline at Penn.

The main point was that just putting women and minorities into the pipeline as starting assistant professors is not sufficient.  Without some changes in the way academia operates, we will continue to lose more than our fair share of women and minorities along the way and the impact on the full professorship and administrative roles will still remain far lower than those hired at junior levels.  Has some very interesting comments about the role of pay, time (read domestic responsibilities), emotional resources, and recognition on women and minorities.

The best line was "we need to model livable lives for our students".  This for me was the kicker when I though about going into academia.  I looked at the female faculty in the department where I did my undergraduate work (granted a major pressure cooker) and thought, I don't want their lives.  Many of them were single or divorced and childless.  I don't want to say that those things are bad for everyone, but for me they were deal breakers.  I didn't want a job that meant not being able to sustain a marriage or a family.  So modeling a life style that others might want (and actually having it too) is key to getting more women and minorities into STEM.  Making tenure and beyond a more "sustainable" process will make life better for everyone in academe.

Breadwinners

Great article today about women breadwinners (in the Chronicle) and how they still don't make as much money as men (in the same field with the same education).   You can argue that women in some fields are younger (assistant prof versus full prof), but here's the rub:

"When compared with men's pay at the same level of educational attainment, women's pay is even more unequal: Women earn only 67 cents to their male counterparts' $1. That difference remains steady at every level of education.."

 Why is this?  Some of the arguments focus on how women are likely to be in lower paying specialties (primary care physicians versus surgeons), but I think it is more than that.  It may also be too that women are more interested in qualify of life (work/family balance) than money so they opt for situations that give them more flexibility rather than more pay.  Is this a good thing or a bad thing?  I think it is bad that women are underpaid and don't have opportunities to advance!  On the other hand, I think that if women are truly choosing family time over more money, that is OK if that is what they want.

There are certainly situations where I see very successful individuals (research superstars, administrators, etc.) and I think wow that person is amazing.  Then I think, but on the other hand I don't want their lifestyle (too much travel, working 24/7, etc.)  I don't want to do bad research or not have any opportunities for leadership/advancement, but I don't want to give up evenings with my kids or be gone all the time.  Travel is something that appeals to me less and less.  Whether it is missing the family, the prep work required for the house to run smoothly while I'm gone (not to mention childcare if spouse is gone too), missed work, and the joys of flying these day I would rather not travel too much.  I obviously go to some conferences, give some seminars, and serve on review panels but I try to work on saying no.  How will this impact my earnings long term, hard to say.  I've been a co-breadwinner my whole career.  Sometimes I have made more money and sometimes my husband has made more than me.  Really for us the big issues are affording a house in a good (close) school district and being able to pay for high quality childcare.  But, would I take a job for double the money that cut my kid time in half, probably not.

Ah well, back to making the most of my last 3 week days before the semester starts...

Tentative syllabus - check
First round of edits on two papers from former students - check  (need to do second round on 1 paper)
Grant reviews - started
Book chapter - lit review in progress
Regulatory protocol - submitted
Major service work - moving along nicely
Paper reviews - To be started (need to work on saying no!!!)
Annual review - almost done
Lab freezer - former students samples - sorted/removed

Fairly productive break all in all, but my to-do list seems to be growing rather than shrinking.

Balancing ambition and family

Great article in the Chronicle today about balancing ambition and family:
Superprofessor meets supermom.

Chávez-García articulates some of the thoughts that sometimes run through my head.  Do I want a third kid?  I've always said two would be great, but now that the little one is leaving babyhood behind (and heading into terrible toddler-hood tantrums) I look at newborns longingly.  I think the third one would send me over the cliff personally, but I do so love little babies.  I don't worry as much about it being career suicide (although maybe I should), but more just a logistical nightmare.

I also love the discussion in this article about why do we have children.  And why do we stop at whatever number we do choose?  Husband and I joke that is is so we'll have someone to put us in the nursing home one day.  But, is it also key to impart our values to future generations?  Which leads me to wonder, how well I'm doing in that category?  Am I imparting the values I want to share?  Please discuss...